Me: I just heard that it is National Mental Health Week, I found out late, so I’m thinking of taking next week off- not for me, but on account of our family. You know, like Munchausen by familia…or something like that. Get it?!
Sister-Sister: Silence
Me: So mom called me the other night. You know I dread picking up the phone, realizing it’s her and noticing that it is later than noon. I wish she didn’t have her phone on “block” , then she couldn’t surprise me.
Sister-Sister: Yes, because you’d still have to answer, because, you know, you wouldn’t want to listen to the painful voice-mail.
Me: Exactly!
Me: So, mom calls in the evening, and even though her voice was slurred, it was actually the best phone conversation we’ve had in years. We actually talked, and she asked me about the kids, and myself…not that the probability of her remembering any of it is very high…but I can enjoy the moment! But, the conversation started out really weird, after she figured out it was me, (the daughter owning the phone number she dialed…) She started off by telling me that she was on her kindle account and saw something really strange, my daughter’s name appeared on her account. So, I said, “well mom, 4 of 4 is only 8 years old and doesn’t have any kind of accounts online except for club penguin, so I think you are mistaken.”
She then says, “well, never-mind, that’s not why I called, anyway.”
Sister-Sister: ugh. She sounds like Great-Aunt Trina.
Me: Exactly! I always thought the craziness with Great-Aunt Trina- you know, thinking thieves were stealing her roof tiles, accusing family members of stealing from her- or trying to- was kind of a mad cow disease thing, from- you know all the baby calf injections she had in Mexico. (for youthful skin)
So now I’m thinking, okay, Great-Grandma was the crazy cat lady, Great-Aunt Trina is off her rocker..
Sister-Sister: but has young looking skin! Actually they both were beautiful in their day, Great Grandma being a Hollywood starlett and Aunt Trina pretending to be her sister, not her daughter..we scored with the youthful genes, you know…
Me: Yes, I was kind of proud of the youthful genes thing, but then Grandpa was just diagnosed with dementia, and now mom is sounding all paranoid. Never mind the parrots and dogs as kids thing and the annoying narcissistic personality thing, that’s old hat…
Sister-Sister: We’re screwed
Me: You think?!!
Genevieve, homeschool mom who has found her secret place. Confession is supposed to be good for the soul. That, or just entertaining. Grab a drink, and I'll spill.